The Darkest Dreams of Light
by fictionalchocolate
Summary: The 4th doctor-while traveling with Romana II-has a string of strange dreams, about his future. But they feel more like memories than dreams, yet he doesn't know a Rose Tyler or a River Song, and Gallifrey still lives. Scared by his dreams and visions the Doctor and Romana set out to discover whether these dreams are to protect him form a future he doesn't want,or something else.
1. Chapter 1

**The Darkest Dreams of Light**

The Doctor woke with a start, eyes flying open and popping half way out of his skull. He sighed glad he was still in the TARDIS library, wait why wouldn't he be? He stopped all other thought processes and furrowed his brow in confusion. He glanced around again. Yes, this was the TARDIS library, and yes this was _his_ TARDIS's library. He'd been reading a book about something or another – he wasn't paying much attention to the book to be quite honest – and he fell asleep in his seat on page, he glanced down at the book still on the table, 756 that was it. He shook his head as he got up, limbs still stiff from sleep. That still didn't answer his question. Why had he at first believed himself to be somewhere else? A soft humming filled his ears as the other TARDIS inhabitant came into the room. She looked up from her book when she sensed him staring at her.

"Oh Doctor hello, did you have a good nap?" He huffed and placed a hand on his hip, using his other hand to lean up against the library table.

"I was not napping." She stifled a laugh closing her book with one hand and placing it on the table closest to her.

"I see, you looked like you were though."

"Ah but I wasn't." He pointed out lifting his hand from his hip to point at her. She shook her head organizing her books one last time before looking up at him. "Doctor?"

"Hmm yes what is it Romana?" He asked obviously distracted by something. She blinked and stood up straight before answering.

"You, look like you've been crying." He blinked at her before bringing a hand up to his face and wiping at the space directly beneath his eyes. His fingertips came away wet. That was odd. He sure couldn't _remember_ crying.

"Huh, well look at that." He turned away from Romana, who had been walking slowly closer to him. Pretending to gather his books up he started whistling. The weak defense would never slip past Romana that easily, he knew that too.

"Any reason you would be crying Doctor?" He turned his head over his shoulder to look at her.

"Not at all."

"Well you obviously were."

"Was not."

"Was too." He sighed turning back to his books he didn't particularly want to read and rolled his eyes.

"I wasn't crying. Just had a…" He struggled for the right word "… strange dream."

"Strange dream hmm? About what exactly?" He raised an eyebrow at her as she leaned ever-so-distractingly on the library table he was shuffling around.

"Oh you wouldn't want to know about it my dear, incredibly dull and boring." The Doctor lied through his teeth.

"How is a dream both strange and dull?"

"Easily."

"Oh?"

"Yes."

"How?" He waved her out of his way as he started to put the books back on their shelves.

"Well, you have the same boring dream twice in a week which makes the dream strange and dull." He smiled widely at her and all he gets in return is a frown. He shoved a book back into its assumed place of origin.

"So you've had the same dream twice then?"

"Well no, and that was just an example." His voice rises as walks farther away from her so he has to shout, her footsteps patter softly after him.

"Besides dull and strange what kind of dream was it?"

"Why are you so curious about this!" She caught up with him, placing a hand on his shoulder making him stop.

"Because whatever it is, it's bugging you and so it's bugging me too." She stated firmly. The Doctor's mind drifted towards the dream he'd had during his not-nap.

_He just felt empty, like nothing could fill the void consuming his entire being. Pain was the only other describable feeling present, radiating through him like earthquake faults in constant movement. He cried and screamed and wanted to end it all. Alone, in the entire universe. The universe was a big place too. The sad hum of his time machine was the only other noise except for his sobbing. That red grass and the burnt orange sky, the two suns, the gleam off the citadel… _

_All gone. All _his_ fault. _

The Doctor shook his head to get free of the images.

"It's the type of dream you wouldn't want to have Romana." The dark edge in his voice told her all she needed to know. Romana nodded softly and patted his shoulder announcing in the softest voice possible she was going to get some tea. He nodded. As the warm heat of her hand on his shoulder dissipated he stared at the book in his hands. He wasn't the last Time Lord no, there were millions of them back on Gallifrey. So what had the dream meant? "It certainly didn't feel like a dream" He mumbled to himself running a thumb over the worn book cover. It felt like it was happening right then. What bothered him the most was this was not the first dream like this. Defiantly not the first. If this kept happening he'd have to tell Romana. What would she say? He placed the book back on the shelf walking out of the library to join his fellow traveler in tea making. He decided then. If these dreams got any worse, he'd tell her. Until then the oncoming storm could put up with a few odd dreams-yet-not-dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright this was supposed to be the first chapter but I spaced so... here you go. very short this one but it was meant to be beginnning. There will be minor trascrip pieces, but those are only for the dreams. **

**Forgot to put this in the last chapter too: **

**Disclaimer: nope, don't own. **

**The Darkest Dreams of Light**

_With a small noise rather like wind the door flew open. His heavy breathing became heavier with the sight in front of him. Oh, no, no, no, no, no this was not happening, it couldn't but this girl was too nice for nothing to have happened to her. But why this? Out of all the things in the things in the universe it had to be this didn't it? _

_"Hey you're right outside come on in." He wished he could call that voice innocent. _

_"Oswin, we have a problem." He said carefully. He tried to explain in what he hoped was a slightly comforting way. She wasn't having any of it. Wait no, she wasn't a she anymore, she was an it. _

_"I am human." _

_"Not anymore." He stared at the Dalek creature. _

_"I am not a Dalek, I am human." _

The Doctor's eyes opened slowly, that was a very strange dream indeed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again! Sorry for the long wait, but I recently fell face first into the Supernatural fandom (only on season 5) and if its any help people on my other fic have been waiting longer. I must be really stupid or sometihng but I forgot that they use the randomizer during this time. Sol let's pretend they don't for the benifit of me not needing to rewrite this. :) There are hints of 4thDoctor/Romana2 shipping and some 10/Rose (or maybe 10/River) hints in here but, trying to keep out of the shipping area with this fic. This chapter would have been longer but I felt bad and decided to update now. **

**Okay done rambling, enjoy. :) **

**Chapter 2: Admitting Defeat **

_The strange woman stroked the hair by his ear affectionately. It was making him very uncomfortable. The only one who should be allowed to do the was Rose, but she was gone. _

_"You're younger than I've ever seen you." His eyes trail over to her fingers, just out of his line of sight. _

_"You've seen me before then." Her small, sad smile fades and her hand moves away from him fingers shaking slightly. _

_"Doctor, please tell me you know how I am." He can tell already from the cracks forming in her eyes his response is going to destroy her. He glances once at the book she had flipped through minutes, seemingly hours, ago. Then glances back at her taking in her grey-green eyes, olive skin and bouncy tied back curls in a matter of two seconds. _

_"Who are you?" He sees her heart breaking into nothing in her eyes. She backs away from him, trying to put a mask on to cover up her pain. Great, what had he done now. _

"Master?" K9's voice brought him back to the chess game he was currently playing with the robot dog. He coughed, clearing his throat.

"Yes sorry there K9 got a bit distracted." K9's satellite ears swiveled back and forth. He made his move on the board not caring one bit. Well, this time around he wasn't asleep. It was getting worse. That wasn't the only part of it either. He could remember the events right before, and facts, that he hadn't seen in his vision. He was 907, in his tenth regeneration and was traveling with Miss Donna Noble, they'd come to the library. Run into some nasty shadows and met this confusing professor named River Song. But that didn't scare him, no it was the mention of someone else in his vision, someone he'd seen before in a different dream. Rose. He could tell only one thing about her other than appearance.

He loved her.

But he didn't, he didn't even know a Rose, much less _love_ one. His hearts were already captured by someone else. His fellow traveler, no not K9, but Romana. Not that she knew but, still. He sat up brushing off his coat.

"Sorry K9, have to cut or little game short." K9's satellite ears swiveled again in a ,hopefully, accepting manner. He told her to go find Romana and as the robot dog hovered away to find the Time lady, the Doctor set coordinates for the one place he felt most connected to at the moment: The Library.

Romana was perched in her favorite reading chair when K9 found her. She was in possibly the most exciting part of a very boring book and was beginning to be intrigued. While half of her head told her to focus on the rest of the book the other half was yelling at her to go check on the Doctor. He'd been so distant lately, he seemed confused, something he never was. She'd left when k9 and him had started their chess game feeling the need to be alone with her thoughts. Her thoughts drifted back to the Doctor and his recent distance-ness. The conversation in the library hadn't made it any better. A shiver ran down her spin. His voice wasn't like anything she'd ever heard from him, which is saying something considering how much he talked.

"Mistress?" K9's robotic voice called from the corner of the room.

"Oh hello K9 what is it?" The dog tells her that the Doctor wants her out in the console room. She gets up shutting the book and patting k9 on the head thanking him for the message before half skipping out of the room. Romana knocks on the wall to alert the Doctor of her presence when she walks into the console room. He looks up at her, smiling.

"Ah yes Romana hello!"

"Is there a reason you called me away from my book?" She asked, just the tiniest bit annoyed. Placing a hand on her hip she raised her eyebrows at him waiting for an answer.

"Yes, now come along!" He walked over to the doors, opening them carefully before steeping out. Romana followed having to run so to grab the door before it slammed shut.

"The library?" She observed as she stepped out.

"Yes."

"As in the planet one?"

"Well did you think it wasn't?"

"No I was simply asking to confirm."

"Alright then."

"Yes." She paused before continuing. Romana opened her mouth to speak but failed to do so due to the fact the Doctor had grab hold of her hand and had started leading her elsewhere.

"What section are we in?" She asked titles flying past her head in a blur.

"Biographies." The Doctor answered simply. Romana almost tripped over her feet a few times while she tried to keep up with the Doctor's enormous stride. He came to a sudden halt causing her to almost slam into his back. She looked around at where they had stopped. There was a little shop and several bookshelves weaving outward from where they were standing. The Doctor's eyes were distant as though he was somewhere else entirely, or in a different time. She followed his gaze to the counter of the shop, stepping out from behind him.

"Romana." He says softly.

"Yes Doctor?" He swallowed hard running through the explanation in his head again.

"Remember that conversation we had about that dream the other day?" She blink a few times, face remaining stoic before she answered.

"Why yes of course." He nodded sharply.

"Good, good, very good, well I'd like to talk with you some more about that dream."

"Alright." She said, treading very carefully. The Doctor and her may be very good friends, but he was still a very private person. He leads her over into an abandoned section of the library siting down at one of the tables. She finally let go of his hand to take the seat across from him. They sat in silence for a moment. Romana wondered if he knew where to start. She gave him a nudge in the right direction by saying:

"Now Doctor, what was you dream the other day about exactly?" He started playing with the edge of his scarf beneath the table, avoiding her gaze.

"In it, something had happened and, somehow, I was the last Time Lord..." He stops there eyes looking far away again. Romana grabs his hand that's lying openly on the table.

"You're not though, you know that."

"Yes I know my dear." He says lifting his hand up from under the table to clasp hers in both of his.

"But the reason I'm telling you this is because, well that not the first one like that." He brow furrowed in confusion but her eyes stayed locked on their hands.

"What? Not the first?"

"Yes, a while ago, but they're not all the same. At first they weren't that clear like normal dreams, where you can't remember them after you wake up beyond a blur." She nodded for him to continue eyes finally finding his. "But recently they're more like memories, or things that are happening right then."

"Some dreams are like that."

"Not like this. And another thing is, well it's like I'm seeing them through my own eyes, but in my own future."

"So it's like with rifts when future events bleed through."

"I hadn't thought about that but yes I suppose it is. Recently though, it transcends the dream I can remember what happened before what I see in my dream, and I can name people standing in the background I've never met."

"How do you know these aren't just dreams?" He glared at her.

"I just do Romana. That's part of the reason I brought us here because this is where the last dream took place, in about 150 years that is."

"What happened?" She asked suddenly intrigued.

"Well, I was there, from what I can remember I was little over 900 years old, tenth regeneration, let's see, oh yes I had this assistant named Donna. Anyway, was talking with this woman named River Song, she had seen me before but I'd never met her." He though t of the look in her eye when he'd told her he didn't know her and frowned. Wait, he never had told her that. That was in the dream.

"Doctor?" Romana questioned suddenly concerned.

"Hmm yes?"

"Why are we here then?"

"Where that last dream took place wanted to see if it could help me get a handle on things."

"Alright then where do we start?"

**Thanks for all the reviews, favorites, and follows! They all make my day and inspire me to keep working! If you any suggestions/ideas for any dreams/visions you can put them in a review! **

**Thanks for reading! **


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